


The Black Goat's Egg

by FlyAndDontLookBack



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cutting, Depression, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-04
Updated: 2016-03-07
Packaged: 2018-05-24 14:43:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6156997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlyAndDontLookBack/pseuds/FlyAndDontLookBack
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Plot line by FF user Helafina. Kuroko falls into deep depression after being abandoned by those he called friends. A person comes along and helps him, giving Kuroko another chance to change back to the way it was, but what happens when the exact people who made him like this appear once more? two-shot. trigger warning. implied cutting and suicide.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Glassy Sky

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Helafina](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Helafina).



> This has a lot of Tokyo Ghoul references, from the title to the content. It was originally called Glassy Sky but the second chapter prevented me from using that further. 
> 
> DISCLAIMER  
> Trigger warning: implied cutting, general depression, and attempted suicide

“Hey.”

He looks up from his book as he fixes his gaze on the person who just talked to him. This was a first time in a year or so that someone could actually spot him. “Hello.”

“Mind if I sit here?”

He looks at the empty space next to him on the bench and he nods. “Go ahead.”

“Thanks.”

A silence envelops them as he goes back to his book. Wind blows and he is reminded of a cold winter that is approaching. His mind is somewhere else and he unconsciously gets a misty look in his eyes, remembering _those_ days.

“Hey.”

He shakes out the memory and looks back at the person. “Yes?”

“Are you ok?”

Shock takes over him. It’s been so long since he’s heard those three insignificant words that he can’t help but cry.

* * *

_“Hey. Wait for me!” Someone calls out and he turns around, only to be enveloped by a warm body and a happy face._

_“Aomine-kun.” He acknowledges and though he still has a blank canvas on his face, he feels happy as well._

_“Let’s go to Maji Burger. My treat.”_

_“Why so suddenly? Where is Momoi-san?”_

_Aomine scratches his head. “Ah, something about ‘girl problems’? I have no clue. And is it weird to eat with my best friend? Come on, I hear the vanilla milkshakes are on discount today.” He laughs wholeheartedly when he sees his best friend’s eyes sparkle._

_“Is that so?” He tries to act natural but it obviously fails as Aomine ruffles his hair._

_“Come on, let’s go.” Aomine says as he takes his skinny wrist and pulls him along. He can’t pull away and tell him he can walk on his own because he can’t help but feel loved._

* * *

“Hey.” He looks at the person as he says, “Hello,” back.

The person points. “Look at that. It’s pretty, isn’t it?”

He turns his head to where the person is pointing at and sees a robin flying towards the tree next to them, landing gracefully as it starts pecking on one of the twigs. He is immediately drawn to it, his eyes going misty once more.

“Hey.”

He turns back to the person. “Yes?”

The person puts his hands on his head as he admires the view. “Do you ever wonder what it feels like to fly?”

He tilts his head to the question. “Why would you ask that?”

“I’ve always wanted to know. They seem to be so free when they fly in the air.”

“You say that as if you are not.”

“Free?” The person asks and laughs a bit. “Well, I guess you can say that.”

“Can you tell me why?”

The person scratches the back of his head. “I don’t know. Is anyone really free in this world?”

He ponders the question and he suddenly remembers. He flinches slightly. The person doesn’t fail to notice. 

“I suppose not.” He responds as he turns away and looks back at the robin.

The person stretches his arms and legs on the bench. The sun starts to set. They both look at the scenery silently.

“It’s getting late, don’t you think?” The person comments later on. “We should go home.”

He shrugs. “I will stay here for a bit more.” He answers as he opens the same book and burrows his face in it.

A few minutes pass and he realizes that there is still warmth radiating next to him, somehow helping him get warmer than usual. He turns around and sees the person lowering his head and letting his scarf cover his chin. It starts to snow lightly.

“Why are you not leaving?”

The person looks at him and gives him a smile. His heart breaks when he sees someone else instead.

“You’re not.” He replies simply.

“I said I would stay here for a bit longer. You can go.”

He shrugs it off. “I’ll leave when you do.” And he can’t help but lose his attention from the book to watch the robin fly away with the person next to him.

* * *

_“Take a look at that.” Aomine says as he points to a crane walking along the river. The school was at a trip to the zoo, which he found pleasant, and as he looked towards where Aomine was pointing, someone grabbed his shoulders from behind._

_“So pretty!” The person exclaims._

_“Kise-kun, you’re heavy. Please move.” He says in a monotone voice and the person, Kise, cries at how mean he is. Others join the group and one of them, vibrant red hair and even more entrancing red eyes, calls out to them to get ready to eat lunch._

_His eyes never leave the crane while he walks to the area where the others are at. He takes out his lunch and Aomine tsks._

_“Is that really all you’re going to have?” Aomine reprimands but he shrugs in response._

_“I don’t eat a lot.”_

_“It is a truly unsatisfactory lunch for a basketball player.” One of the taller of the group says as he pushes his glasses up. He then proceeds to put some of his own food to him._

_“I don’t need it, Midorima-kun.” He tries to take the food away but Midorima refuses._

_“You need to eat if you want to keep up with us.” He answers and Kise comments on how much of a tsundere he is. Said person splutters._

_He looks at his lunch contemplatively before accepting the food and thanking the tall student._

_“Want some of mine, too?” Aomine asks as he grabs some with his chopsticks but he shakes his head._

_“I appreciate it but I think I have enough. I also know that Aomine-kun will probably eat everything anyways.”_

_Aomine gives him a big smile. “You know me too well.”_

* * *

“‘Hey.”

He looks up from his book and sees that the person is here again. “Hello.”

“What are you always reading?” He asks as he takes his usual spot next to him. His hands are burrowed inside the pockets of his jacket. 

He shows the person the cover of the book. The person crouches down as he reads the title. “‘ _The Black Goat’s Egg.’_ I’ve never heard of it before. What’s it about?” The person asks as he takes the book away from him, making sure to remember which page it was open at. He studies the cover and back page.

He ponders about the question before answering. “It is about a son who lives with her mother and a serial killer called The Black Goat. The son is mostly disgusted by his mother’s depravity but he can’t help but realize that he is going through the same thing. It mostly talks about his mental state and how it deteriorates over time.”

The person is quiet for a second. “Sounds really depressing.” He finally says and he nods in agreement.

“It is. The son has to go through an unbelievable change and it takes him to the brink of insanity trying to cope with it.”

“Who’s the author?”

“Takatsuki Sen. She is well known for her horror novels and the destruction of her main characters.”

“I’ve heard about her before. Isn’t she the one whose writing parallels that of Kafka’s?”

He looks at the person, surprised. “As a matter of fact, yes. Her first book was called _Dear Kafka_.”

A comfortable silence falls upon them as he starts reading the novel once more. Then,

“Is it your first time reading this?”

“ _The Black Goat’s Egg?_ I have actually read it many times.” He then unintentionally adds, “During third year in middle school.” 

The person doesn’t notice it. “What happens to the son in the end?”

He looks at the person straight in the eye for once, and the person stiffens at the hollowness that reflects his eyes. 

With a deadpan voice, he answers. “He breaks.”

* * *

_“Kafka.” Midorima notes as he sees the book he is holding. “That novel is very famous._ The Metamorphosis _.”_

_“Is it?” He asks to the spectacled man. “What’s it about?”_

_Midorima taps his chin for a moment, trying to recall the plot. “A salesman one day wakes up to find himself changed into a monster-like insect and tries to cope through it.”_

_He nods at the explanation. “It sounds very interesting. Why does he change?”_

_“It never really explains it, nor did Kafka provide one. It just focuses on how the man deals with the change. It never really works out, though.”_

_“I can imagine. I doubt the family would be supportive of it.”_

_“They are not. You should read it yourself. I wouldn’t want to spoil it for you.”_

_He nods and tucks the novella under his arm. “Do you have any other recommendations for me?”_

_Midorima looks around in the library. “Depends on the genre you want to read.”_

_He ponders about this as well. Then, “Well, since I have a sad book, maybe something to contrast it would do well.”_

_“Something happy, you mean?”_

_“Something that makes me want to cherish every moment.”_

_Midorima looks at him skeptically. “Why would you want that?”_

_He shrugs. “I feel that the salesman would have wanted that opportunity, after he turned. He must’ve took things for granted that when everyone probably shunned him out, he regretted it deeply. Isn’t that what happens to him in the end?”_

_Midorima sighs. “In a way, yes. I won’t say more than that but you have the gist of it.” He says before taking out a book from the shelf._

_He takes the book and reads the title. “_ Tuesdays with Morrie _. What’s it about?”_

_“I won’t tell but read it after Kafka. You’ll probably like Kafka’s work better, since it_ is _a classic, but you wanted something where it makes you cherish every moment, right?”_

_He nods. “I do.”_

_“_ Tuesdays with Morrie _might help you achieve that. It is a bit sad, I will warn you, but I guarantee that it will get your mind rolling.”_

_He gives Midorima a smile. “Thank you for the books, Midorima-kun.”_

_Midorima merely shoves his glasses up. “As members of the library committee, I believe it is necessary to recommend each other books. It is nothing to thank for.”_

* * *

“Hey.”

“Hello.” The usual greeting as the person sits down next to him. He checks the spine of the book that he’s reading.

“That’s new. Finished _The Black Goat’s Egg_ already?”

He nods. “I have.”

“ _Of Mice and Men._ I’ve actually read this before at school.”  
He looks at the person curiously. “You have?”

“It was an assignment back in the States. I hated reading it.”

“I had no clue you lived in America.”

The person smiles. “You never asked.” It still hurts his chest to see the same exact smile.

“Why did you hate reading it?” He changes the topic to make the person lose the smile.

The person scratches his head. “I didn’t like the ending.”

“It was for the best.”

“It may have been but that doesn’t make it any less painful. They were like two peas in a pod, you know?”

“It could not have been helped. It was either that or something even more terrible.”

The person sighs. “It’s just a choice between bad and worse, isn’t it?”

“I believe that is what life is. We must always make a choice between bad and worse. The lucky ones can always choose bad and deal with fewer consequences. Those who are less fortunate have no choice but to always go with worse. Many times it is always unintentional.”

“Which category are you in?” The person then asks and he immediately replies.

“Worse.”

The person’s eyebrows raise. “That was quick.”

He shrugs. “I have done some terrible things in my life.”

“Doesn’t mean it wasn’t for the worse.”

“But it was.” He insists and the person looks at him with unreadable eyes. He tries to change the topic once more. He has said too much. “And you? Where do you stand at?”

The person pouts in concentration. “Depends. Sometimes I think I’ve done wrong but later on, when I see the outcome, I realize that maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing to do.”

Those words put him to silence. It makes him think more than necessary and suddenly his head hurts. He grabs it and tries to sooth it back. He doesn’t want to think about it now.

“Are you ok?” The person asks, worry evident in his tone.

As the headache dulls, he nods. “I am. My head just hurts a bit.”

The person looks like he wants to say more but doesn’t, and he is grateful for that. He is grateful that the person knows his limits and when he shouldn’t cross the line.

He is grateful that the person is playing ignorance when he can clearly see his bandaged arms on a cold winter.

* * *

_“What did you wish for?” Kise asks from behind as he tapes the paper on the mantle. The wind blows gently on his face and he feels as if he is in nirvana. The middle school festival had just ended, the last celebration before winter vacation and a start of a new grade, and the five basketball players and their manager decided to finish the festivities by writing their wishes and hoping they would come true._

_“I’m not saying.” He replies to Kise._

_“Eh? Why?”_

_“I want my wish to come true. If I tell anyone, it won’t.” He answers. Aomine jumps from behind him and wraps his arm around his shoulder._

_“You don’t actually believe that, do you?” Aomine laughs teasingly._

_“I believe what I want, Aomine-kun. I want my wish to come true. I will not jeopardize it.”_

_Aomine laughs once more. “Hey, I’ll say mine. I want big boobs.”_

_“Dai-chan!” The pink-haired manager scolds as she hits him on the head. “That’s so disgusting.”_

_“That hurts, Satsuki! And what? I’m a guy! I can think stuff like these!”_

_“That doesn’t make it any less bad, you ganguro!” She yells at him and they start bickering just like how childhood friends should._

_“Momocchi is right, Aominecchi! And you just implied that you want big boobs, not that you want a girl with them!” Kise calls out. Immediately, Aomine tries to find his slip of paper with wide eyes._

_“Well, I wished for my basketball skills to grow stronger!” Kise then says enthusiastically and he looks at the blonde curiously._

_“Your skills are already very high, Kise-kun.”_

_Kise shakes his head and looks at the stars. “No, not yet. I’m not satisfied. I just started, you know? I want to grow stronger, strong enough to beat Aominecchi.”_

_At that moment, Aomine pushes Kise in the back. “Yeah, right, idiot. You’ve got a long way before you can do that.”_

_Kise pouts. “Just you wait, Aominecchi! I’ll make sure to beat you one day!” The two fight as always but tonight, it just a light shoving and pushing. They’re just joking._

_They’re friends._

_“So, what did you wish for?” Momoi comes up and asks him._

_He is still relentless. “I don’t want to say it.”_

_“Please? I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours.” Momoi tries to bargain but he shakes his head. Behind them come three others with their slips of paper._

_“Took you guys long enough.” Aomine comments as he lets go of Kise’s neck._

_“It’s because Murasakibara wouldn't take this seriously.” Midorima scoffs as the tallest of the group, Murasakibara Atsushi, just gives everyone a lazy smile._

_“I was taking it seriously~” The giant drawls happily and the remaining three all tape their papers on the mantle as well._

_The six then sit down on the floor and Aomine nudges Midorima._

_“So, what did you guys write?”_

_Murasakibara goes first. “I wished for more candy~”_

_“Mukkun, you were supposed to take this more seriously!” Momoi exclaims._

_“Exactly what I said.” Midorima adds with an annoyed expression but it doesn’t faze Murasakibara in the least._

_“What did you wish for then, Midorimacchi?” Kise questions._

_Midorima pushes his glasses up and mutters something incomprehensible._

_“What?” Kise strains to hear._

_“To beat Akashi.” He finally says and everyone laughs._

_“I’m afraid that wish will never come true.”_

_“Mark my words, Akashi. I will beat you one day.” Midorima declares to the red-head and Akashi smiles._

_“Whatever you say.”_

_“Well, what did you wish for then?” Midorima huffs as he asks Akashi. Everyone’s ears perk, curiosity peaking._

_Akashi just smiles. “To keep playing basketball.” He replies simply._

_“Eh? But that’s already come true!” Kise remarks and everyone calls Akashi out. Akashi merely keeps his smile as Aomine and Kise start shoving him teasingly._

_Momoi suddenly raises her hand. “I wished to be with everyone until the end!”_

_“You’re just like Akashicchi! It’s already happened!” Kise comments and Momoi laughs while scratching the back of her head._

_“Well, I may have paraphrased it a bit.” She says with a blush. Immediately Kise gives her a knowing smile and she blushes even more._

_Kise goes to him and nudges him slightly. “Looks like someone’s going to happy.”_

_He gives the blonde a confused look. “What do you mean?” Kise rolls his eyes and winks at Momoi. She then proceeds to hit him to make him quiet._

_And finally, Aomine looks at him with a mischievous glint in his eye. “And what about you? What did you wish for?”_

_He looks around the group and sees that everyone is waiting for him to speak. It’s the first time he’s been given this much attention that he can’t let them down now._

_“Ah, something stupid.” He tries to avoid but with their gazes, he knows he can’t escape them._

_It’s actually a nice feeling._

_“I wished that we would never change and be as we are now.” He finally says and everyone grins._

_“Idiot, what else do you think we’d do?” Aomine states and ruffles his hair. He shoos the hand away but the feeling is warm and pleasant._

_“Do you think we’ll get to see a shooting star tonight?” Momoi asks and Akashi nods._

_“There’s one right now.” He points to the falling star and the group all gasp at the beauty of it. He unconsciously grabs Aomine’s sleeve and the tanned student turns around._

_“Hey, what’s up?”_

_“Will we really be together?” He whispers and Aomine gives him a soft smile._

_“Where else would we be then? We’ll always be together.”_

_“Will you abandon me someday?”_

_At that, Aomine’s eyes widen. “Why would you think that?”_

_He looks up and stares into Aomine’s eyes. “Because I’ve been in that situation before. I don’t want to go through it again.”_

_Aomine hugs him tenderly. “We will never abandon you. It’s a promise.”_

* * *

“Hey.”

This time, he doesn’t say anything back. He doesn’t lift his head to look at him and he focuses on holding back his tears.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” The person asks as he crouches down. He still doesn’t say anything back.

 

_“I don’t even remember…”_

 

“You look like you’re about to cry. What’s wrong?”

 

_“Your passes…”_

 

“Hey, look at me. What’s wrong? Are you ok?”

 

_‘You’ve been abandoned. You’ve got nothing left._

_‘Die._

_Just die.’_

 

A few tears fall from his cheeks and the person immediately goes to wipe them away. He shies away from the touch and wipes them himself.

“I’m sorry.” He apologizes but more tears fall. The person sits next to him, unsure of what to do.

“What’s wrong?” The person asks once more.

“I just realized that today is my birthday.”

* * *

_“Will we always be together?”  He says to himself as he tapes a single slip of paper on the mantle. The only one there._

_Today’s festival seemed dull, void of color and festivity. He had tried to find the others in the big school but was shocked to see that they all went their separate ways._

_Kise with his horde of fans._

_Midorima with his horoscopes and the booth where antiques were sold._

_Murasakibara at all the candy shops and booths._

_Akashi winning everyone at a game of shogi and pretty much any other game. His yellow eye seems colder than usual._

_And Aomine nowhere to be found._

_The last festival until middle school ends and he is alone. Again._

_“Will you never leave me behind?” He asks to himself as he looks down and sees that almost everyone has gone home. He is on the third floor and suddenly, he finds it interesting to see if he can fly._

_Eyes go misty as his body moves on his own._

We’ll always be together, _they said._

We’ll never abandon you _, they said._

We’ll never leave you _, they said._

_Legs move up as he hoists himself in the metal bar and tries to balance himself. When he does, he feels the wind blowing softly, just like last time. He opens his eyes and looks to the midnight sky. Almost everyone has left and the only thing still lit is the dying bonfire._

_He spots a shooting star gliding across the sky and he smiles, a gentle tear falling down his cheek._

_And as he closes his eyes and lets himself fall from the balcony, he can’t help but think, ‘my wish will come true now.’_

_A thump on the ground and everything goes dark._

_The slip of paper moves to the beat of the wind, its words peaking through it._

_That everything will go back to the way it was._

* * *

“Here, listen to this. It might soothe your mind a bit.” The person says as he puts big headphones on him. The music blasts immediately and he closes his eyes, letting the lyrics flow.

“English.” He comments and the person nods, though he can’t see it.

“A returnee, remember?”

He doesn’t listen as the lyrics pull him in. He doesn’t understand it but somehow, he can. He can feel the pain, the utter impulse to try and make everything the way it was. He feels the sorrow, the woe, the anguish, but for some reason, he senses hope as well.

When the song finishes, he takes off the headphones and gives it back to the person. The person, however, shakes his head and puts them on his neck. He forgot to wear a scarf today.

“Keep it for a while. It’s warm and you looked a bit cold.” The person says and though he wants to give it back, the person is relentless.

“What was that song?” He asks after a moment.

“ _Glassy Sky._ Good song, right?” The person says and he nods in agreement.

“It was beautiful. I could not understand most of it but you could hear the emotion.”

“I think it was an OST for something. I’m not sure, though.”

“What does it mean?”

“What?”

He taps the headphones. “ _Glassy Sky._ I am very sure it has a meaning to it.”

The person rubs the back of his neck in consideration. “I’m not sure, really. All I know is that it was an OST for a main character who has to deal with immense change in himself. Something like the character from _The Metamorphosis_ went through.”

A moment’s silence later, he says, “I liked the chorus a lot. ‘ _As long as I’m alive, you will be part of me.’_ That much I could understand.”

“Yeah, no one wants to leave this world without leaving scars behind.”

He tilts his head to the person’s words. “What do you mean?”

“You’re bound to have people who love you, right? If you were to just leave, you wouldn’t just go without leaving something behind. There’s no such thing as a free lunch, right?”

“I doubt anyone would care if I left.”

“You never know. I’d be sad if you left.”

He turns his head in shock and looks at the person with confused eyes. “You would?”

The person rubs his hands for warmth. “Well, yeah.”

“But you forget me in the end, wouldn’t you?” He adds with a bitter tone.

The person shakes his head. “No one really forgets others, you know? Besides, I like talking to you too much to forget you. I’d probably remember you forever.”

He keeps staring at the person. “There is no such thing as an infinity.”

“That’s what you think.”

He tilts his head in puzzlement. “What do you mean?”

“Who’s the say that one’s imagination is limited? It stretches far off, doesn’t it? It never really ends.” The person then looks up and gestures him to look as well. He does.

“Look at the sky. Do you think it’ll end?”

He stares at a cloud lazily passing by. “No, I suppose not. But maybe it will. There is no evidence saying that it extends forever.” And a second later he adds, “Maybe that was the meaning of it after all.”

The person stops looking at the sky. “Meaning of what?”

“ _Glassy sky._ ” He answers. “Maybe the singer was trying to say that something that should probably feel like infinity is nothing but a false glassy sky. Maybe she was trying to say that something you feel will last forever never does.”

The conversation dims and reticence substitutes it. He closes his eyes, wondering if the person will leave him alone now and never come back. He’s been nothing but a pessimist and he doubts the person wants to be next to him again.

He would be abandoned again.

He waits for the person’s footsteps, his standing up and walking away, but it never comes.

Instead, “Then maybe she was implying that we should cherish those moments.”

He flickers his eyes open and blue meets red.

The person keeps going. “Because those things important to us probably won’t last, it’s better to live as if the day was your last, to not let your life go to waste and have the time of your life. A glassy sky may be just a fake representation of a real sky, but the hard work and effort to make such a beautiful reflection of it means something, right? A glassy sky still covers you and makes your life bearable.”

The person then stands up and stretches. “I’m going to go first. I’ll see you tomorrow, ok?” And he starts walking away.

“Wait!” He suddenly calls out and the person hesitates from his steps before turning to him. “Yeah?”

He takes off the headphones and holds it up. “You forgot this.”

The person just smiles. “Keep it. I have another pair at home.”

He feels guilty. “But I can’t keep something like this. It looks expensive.” He still holds out the headphones, willing the person to take it back. The person, however, laughs and walks towards him. He takes his hands and guides them back to his neck where he places the headphones back.

“It’s fine. It looks good on you.” He comments and starts walking away once more.

“But -” He tries once more but is cut off by the person’s wave.

“Happy birthday.” And with that, he’s gone.

* * *

“I don’t think I have to go to practice anymore. Thank goodness, right? I can finally focus more on modeling now. We’ll always win anyways, so why bother?”

_One, my little feet take a step towards heaven. Will they let me in?_

“It’s such a pain. As long as I don’t let the other team score, we’ll win, right? I’ve got more power than they do, so it’ll be fine. Practice was annoying anyways~”

_Two, take the pain away; hurt myself instead. Will they love me for who I am?_

“Pass the ball? Why should I when my shooting range has increased? I doubt anyone would be able to stop me even if they wanted to.”

_Three, a spiral of black as I take another step towards the sky. Will they help me survive?_

“As long as everyone reaches their quota and crushes the opponent, securing our victory, I will be lenient on practice. I am absolute, can’t you see? I am always right; therefore, I always win.”

_Four, at the edge, the brink, the line of my life. Will they still let me join?_

“I don’t even remember how to receive your passes anymore.”

_Five, down goes the soul, the shadow. Will they miss me and regret ever leaving me behind?_

* * *

“Hey.”

“Hello.”

“Are you doing ok?”

“I am doing just fine. Thank you.”

“No problem. I was worrying about you, you know?”

“I appreciate that. Thank you.”

“You’re wearing the headphones I gave you. Do you like them?”  
“I do very much. Thank you.”

“You don’t have to say thank you for everything, you know?”

“But I want to. I want to thank you for everything you have done.”

“I barely did anything.”

“You knew I was hurting myself, right?”

“… Yeah”

“You knew I almost tried to kill myself.”

“… I did.”

“You knew I just needed a someone.”

“I knew you needed someone to talk to. Someone to call a friend.”

“… Are you my friend?”

“I thought that was kind of obvious.”

“I don’t even know your name.”

“Neither do I. But I’m still your friend, right?”

“… Right.”

“Then, let’s start over, shall we? My name’s Kagami Taiga. And you?”

“… Kuroko Tetsuya.”


	2. The Black Goat's Egg

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DISCLAIMER  
> Trigger warning: implied cutting, general depression, and attempted suicide
> 
> This is way more depressing than the first chapter. You have been warned.

_You’re alone. You’re not wanted. You don’t belong in this world._

But I do belong. I _am_ wanted. I’m not alone anymore.

_You were abandoned. You were left behind. They don’t remember you anymore._

I don’t care anymore. I’m starting a new life. I don’t need them anymore either.

_Liar. Liar. Liar._

I’m not a liar. I’m telling you the truth. Leave me alone.

_Abandoned. Left behind. Alone. Alone in this world._

I’m not, I’m not, I’m not.

_Wouldn’t it be better if you just died? Just die._

* * *

“Kuroko, hey, wake up.” His eyes open blearily to the sound of a voice calling his name. When his eyes focus, which is surprisingly hard to do, he sees a vibrant red hair, making him choke on thin air.

“Hey, calm down. It’s ok, you’re ok.” The voice reassures him and he realizes that this is a warm, soothing voice, not the other voice he dreads to hear so much.

“Kagami-kun?” He asks uncertainly and the blurry image nods.

“Yeah, it’s me. Are you doing ok? You were crying in your sleep. Another nightmare?” Kagami asks him and he can only nod back. He’s had this too many times. He’s just glad Kagami is there with him the whole time.

It was only a few weeks before he was completely left alone. His grandmother, the only relative he had left, had finally passed away. When Kagami heard, he immediately took Kuroko into his own house, telling him that he lived alone anyways and it was nice to have a roommate.

Just when he thought he was abandoned once more, Kagami came to the rescue. He really was blessed to have a friend like him.

“Come here.” Kagami says as he moves to where Kagami is. Kagami pats the side of his bed and pats his on the back soothingly.

“You’re not alone, ok? I’m here for you.” Kagami asserts and Kuroko snuggles next to Kagami, wanting the warmth of another person. He nods and takes the rest of the morning trying to calm his beating heart, to tell it that he is not alone anymore and that he has a friend again.

* * *

“Are you sure you don’t want to come to orientation for basketball?” Kagami asks as the final bell rings and Kagami gets ready to go to the gym. It is the first day of high school and unsurprisingly, both Kagami and Kuroko are in Seirin High School.

Kuroko shakes his head. “I am fine.”

Kagami rubs the back of his neck as he looks at the smaller boy with doubt. “Are you still weary of basketball?”

“No, it is not that.” He says a quicker than intended.

Kagami gives him a pointed look. “I thought we established that we wouldn’t lie to each other anymore. You’re not complaining, ok? Don’t ever think that.”

Kuroko nods. “I am sorry, Kagami-kun. Yes, I am still a bit weary of the sport.”

“It’d be nice if you came and cheered me on, though.” Kagami tries to persuade, secretly wanting Kuroko to smile just once.

Kuroko merely shakes his head. “I am sure you will be able to get in, even without my help. Would you like me to wait for you?”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to. What would you do anyways while waiting for me?”

“I could always go to the library and read something. I don’t mind staying after school.”

Kagamia looks at Kuroko for a second before smiling. “Thanks. Want to meet outside the gym or should I go to the library?”

Kuroko ponders about this. “The gym. We can go straight home afterwards.”

“Maji Burger, too?” Kagami asks hopefully.

“Kagami-kun, you eat too much.”

“And you eat too little.” Kagami points out and Kuroko doesn’t have anything to say. They part ways, though Kagami looks reluctant to do so, and Kuroko walks to the library. The door is still open and a few people are sitting on the couches and chairs, reading or studying. He picks out a book by Takatsuki Sen and walks to am empty table. He starts reading and is immediately immersed in it, taking in each word and each phrase to heart.

And that wasn’t a good thing to do.

* * *

_‘'The boy walks to his deranged mother, looks at her with disgust, and kicks her in the stomach. The mother cries out in pain before shaking everywhere._

_"Does it hurt, mother?" The boy asks but the mother doesn't answer back. He kicks her once more with a smile on his face._

_"Does it hurt, mother?" He asks once more but the mother just keeps shaking. His eye twitches as he realizes that the more he hurts his mother, the more joy she feels from it._

_He soon stops kicking her and as soon as he stops, the mother whines for more. He lifts his chin up, making himself look more intimidating, and tsks._

_"Disgusting." He comments before walking to his room and before shutting it, he looks at his mother once more. She is still on the floor, shaking, begging for more. His eye twitches once more and he closes the door. When he turns around, he finds himself looking straight at the Black Goat._

_"How you doing?" The Black Goat asks with a smile on his face. It seems to stretch all the way to his cheeks._

_The boy tries to ignore him but the Black Goat is persistent. He trails after him, only staying a few centimeters away from him. The boy does his best to block him out but finds that it is impossible to do so when the man is practically breathing on his ear._

_"How you doing?" The Black Goat asks once more as the boy stops walking around his room._

_"I don't have to talk to you." The boy tries to say as confidently as he can._

_"But you're already talking to me, aren't ya? Tell me, how you doing?" The Black Goat asks with his smile._

_"Perfectly fine. Leave me alone." The boy says coldly._

_"But you don't want me to leave. You don't want to be alone. Don't lie to yourself, boy. You want me here. I'm your sole comfort in this world."_

_"A serial killer living in my house is not comforting at all. Go away." The boy tries once more but the Black Goat just keeps smiling._

_"You still need me. You have no one. You have no friends and your mother isn't even your mother anymore. Her life's being sucked out right before her very eyes yet she doesn't even try to fight it. The only person you have is leaving you for her own selfish needs. I, on other hand, am asking you, how you doing?"_

_The boy's eye keeps twitching as he covered his ears and tries to drown out the serial killer's words. He closes his eyes, closes his ears, and focuses on his breathing only._

_But he had already heard everything._

_He was alone in this world. He had no one to turn to, no one whom he could be with, no one home he could feel most at home._

_He was becoming absolutely nothing._

* * *

“Library’s closing in 5 minutes!”

Kuroko is forcefully pulled out of his book when he hears the announcement. He realizes that he’s been reading for about 30 minutes but he would have to wait another 30 minutes for Kagami to finish his basketball practice. He decides to let go of the book for now and wait in front of the gym until Kagami comes out.

He puts the book back on the shelf and walks to the gym where lights are blaring through the enormous windows. He leans against the front wall and closes his eyes as he listens to the familiar squeaky footsteps and bounces of the ball.There are sometimes swishes of the net and cheers of joy. He hears commands and orders from probably the captain and the coach, and he can practically see Kagami’s fist in the air at a job well done.

* * *

_They abandoned you, you know._

I know.

_The same thing might happen again._

Kagami-kun is different. He would never do that.

_Just how your so-called friends would never do that to you? Look at you now._

Stop it, just stop.

_I remember their happy little faces when they promised to never leave you._

Stop.

_I remember their hugs and pats on the back._

No, stop. Please.

_I remember every single detail about them. Would you like to remember them as well?_

No, I don’t. Stop it. I don’t need this.

_Remember when you were the teacher of the blonde? You felt important to the team._

Shut up.

_Remember when you shared sweets with the giant? You weren’t left out._

I don’t need this.

_Remember when you were recommended books from glasses? You felt wanted._

Stop, please stop. I don’t want this. I don’t want to remember.

_Remember when the red-head gave you tutoring lessons? When he gave you a chance to enter the club? When you were given the opportunity of a lifetime? Now, wasn’t that just a beautiful thing to witness?_

I can’t take it. Please, stop. You’re killing me.

_Remember when you became best friends with the one and only Aomine Daiki?_

STOPSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOP

* * *

“Kuroko!

Hey, calm down. 

Hey, look at me. 

Shh, it’s ok, it’s going to be ok. 

Take deep breaths, just like we practiced. 

Inhale, exhale. 

Come on, do it with me. 

There you go, you’re doing great. 

One more time, take a deep breath and let it out. 

With me, come on. 

There we go. 

Better, right?

Thank god.”

* * *

“Kagami-kun.” Kuroko whispers as they walk towards their home. Kagami decided that they could go to Maji Burger next time and declared that he would make one of the best dinners ever this time.

“Yeah?” Kagami answers as he looks at the smaller boy. He seems even smaller now.

“What happened?” He asks and Kagami hesitates for a second. Kuroko notices this and dread pools his guts.

“You were having one of your breakdowns.” Kagami reluctantly replies and Kuroko bites his lip.

“Was I? In front of the gym?”

Kagami rubs the back of his neck. “Yeah, kind of.”

“What was I doing?”

“You were in a crouching and shaking all over the place. It might have been one of your worst. You were covering your ears and screaming at something to stop. Was it the voice again?” Kagami asks worriedly and Kuroko nods weakly.

“It seems be coming back more often lately. I have no idea why.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t have waited for me. Waiting in front of the gym must’ve triggered something. Sorry.” Kagami apologizes dejectedly but Kuroko shakes his head.

“it is not your fault, Kagami-kun. I wanted to wait for you.”

Kagami still can’t get the expression off his face. “Are you sure?”

Kuroko nods again. “Yes.”

Kagami sighs before looking at the sky. “You know we promised each other not to tell lies, right?”

“Yes.”

“Ok. Then is it fine if I ask something?”

“Yes.”

“Were you thinking about _them_? Are they still haunting you?”

Kuroko is silent for a moment, making Kagami stop and look at him. He involuntarily starts shaking and Kagami knows he has made a mistake.

He crouches down in front of Kuroko and pries his hands from his face. “Hey, Kuroko, look at me, look at me.” He soothes as Kuroko, still shaking, makes eye contact. “I’m sorry for bringing up. I’m really sorry.”

Kagami hugs him until he gradually stops shivering.

“Are you ok?” Kagami asks slowly and Kuroko, head buried, nods.

“I’m sorry, Kagami-kun.” He whispers and Kagami pats him on the head.

“What’re you sorry for? It’s not your fault.”

“I’m weak.”

“You’re not. You were just too strong.”

* * *

_Someday will come when he’ll leave you as well._

He will not.

_Just like them._

Do not dare start this again. You will not push me.

_Have you even seen them lately? Do they even contact you at all? See how you are, which school you chose?_

You know they did not.

_Exactly. They don’t care for you at all._

It doesn’t matter anymore. I don’t care anymore.

_What will you when you see them again?_

I will not.

_You never know. You might even see them tomorrow._

I will not. They would never even try to find me.

_What would you say? Would you stutter? Blame them? Or just -_

Shut up.

_Break down like always?_

* * *

_“Why don’t you just kill her? You hate her, don’t you?” He smiles as the boy starts to actually contemplate it. However, before it can go any further, the boy vigorously shakes his head._

_“Shut up, stop talking to me. She’s my mother. The only relative I have left.” The boy rejects viciously as he covers his ears to block the Black Goat’s words._

_it doesn’t work, though._

_“But she’s been nothing but a disgust to you. She never helps you, never treats you like a son. The best she could do was get food but she can’t even do that anymore. What more can she do that be selfish?”_

_“Every human is selfish. I am, too.”_

_“But she’s overstepping her boundaries, don’t you think?” The Black Goat says with his usual smile. The boy’s eye keeps twitching._

_“Shut up. You’re overstepping your boundaries, too.”_

_“Oh?” The man’s eyebrow raises lazily. “How?”_

_“You’re not only trespassing my house, but you’re also walking into my personal bubble. Lay off and leave this house. No one wants you.” The boy stresses but the Black Goat still has his smile. Obviously, things are going his way._

_“Are you sure?” He asks the boy and he hesitates slightly. “Are you sure you don’t want me? I can do wonders to this house, you know? Starting with your mother.”_

_A few seconds later, the boy cannot help but ask, “What are you planning to do to my mother?”_

_The man bares his yellow teeth as he grins. “Exactly what you want me to do.”_

_“You can’t possibly know what I want.”_

_“Oh,” the man says, “but I do. I know so well.”_

_The boy shivers slightly as the man walks up to him and pats him on the shoulder almost tenderly, like a mother’s touch._

_The man leans in to the boy’s ear and whispers, “You want me to kill her, don’t you?”_

_The boy’s eyes widen as his knees collapse on him._

_He screams._

* * *

“Kuroko?”

He whips his head to the futon next to him. He has already been awake for several hours, evident from his dark bags under his eyes.“Did I wake you up, Kagami-kun? It is still only 5.”

“No, it’s fine. I just had a nightmare. Why are you awake?” Kagami asks but as he leans in closer and inspects his face, his eyes widen in disbelief.

“How long were you awake?” He asks hesitantly and Kuroko shrugs.

“I believe I woke up a few hours ago.”

“And you couldn’t go back to sleep?” Kagami asks incredulously. Kuroko shakes his head. “Then you could’ve woken me up.”

“You were obviously tired from practice, Kagami-kun. I did not have a need to wake you up.”

“But you had a nightmare yourself, didn’t you? That’s why you woke up, right?” Kuroko doesn’t have to reply. Kagami already knows.

He runs his hand through his hair, torn between yelling at him for not waking him up and asking him what happened this time. He decides on the latter. “Was it the voice again?”

Kuroko nods. “It was asking me what I would do if I were to ever meet them. It told me I would most likely break down like always.”

Kagami is silent for a second. Then, “What do you think you _would_ do? Without recalling what the voice said. What would you do if you actually _did_ see them?” 

Kuroko doesn't know how to respond. He had been avoiding it the whole time. His eyes dart as he tries to figure out an answer. There is no concrete one and an immediate reply cannot come out as it doesn’t write out logically in his head. It’s all jumbled up and the voice just keeps telling him that he will break down.

He has no choice but to go along with it.

“I would break down.” He finally answers, exhausted. Kagami looks at him with concerned eyes. He knows in his heart that those words are not Kuroko’s. It’s the voice inside his head. His condition is only growing worse.

“You’re not.” Kagami declare confidently and Kuroko, so tired, doesn’t look at him when he says that.

“How do you know, Kagami-kun?” He asks.

“I just do. And besides, even if you did see them, I would be with you. You wouldn’t be alone.” Kuroko can barely let out a small smile when he hears that he still has someone in this world. And yet, he wonders, why is Kagami going through so much for him?

_To abandon you in the end._

“Will you abandon me in the end?” Kuroko involuntarily whispers and is surprised when Kagami barges from his futon and marches over to his. Kagami grabs him by the shoulders and has an intense look on his face.

“Like hell I would, idiot! Why would I do such a thing?” Kagami shouts.

“Because of what happened.” Kuroko reluctantly says.

“I’m not them, Kuroko. You know that.”

“But I cannot trust anymore, Kagami-kun. Not again.” Kuroko looks close to crying and Kagami can’t say anything to that. He instead changes the subject.

“Will you cheer for us at Inter High?” It’s early, they both know, to be talking about such a competition when it is days away, but Kuroko knows how much Kagami is looking forward to it.

Unfortunately, he shakes his head. “I do not think I will.”

Kagami’s face falls. “Well, I guess we can’t do anything about that.” He doesn’t ask the reason why Kuroko won’t come. They both know it’s because of _them_.

The alarm goes off, signifying 6AM and both get ready, Kagami with his signature American breakfast and Kuroko with his tidying up the place. It’s become an unspoken routine between them and thankfully, they are both happy with it.

Kagami leaves first as always to go to morning practice and Kuroko stays in the house for a bit longer before it is his turn to go to school. To pass the time, he takes his book and reads where he left off. He’s been reading this and only this lately, to the point where he can even remember passages off the top of his head, but he can’t seem to stop re-reading it.

* * *

_“Kill her.”_

_“No.”_

_“You know you want to.”_

_“I don’t. You don’t know anything.”_

_“But I know you want to. Don’t lie to yourself. You secretly want to wrap your hand around her neck and just squeeze until she stops moving.”_

_“Shut up.”_

_“Or maybe hit her with a metal pipe. It’d make a mess but you could just clean that up.”_

_“Shut up.”_

_“You could stop feeding her, make her starve to death. She doesn’t even give a damn what you do. You could even poison her food if you wanted. I could get you the supplies.”_

_“Will you shut it?” The boy finally snaps and makes the mistake at looking at the Black Goat. He’s smiling again._

_“Just go away!” The boy screams as he pushes the serial killer away from him. He misses and the Black Goat merely leans forward._

_He whispers, “You’ll never get rid of me.”_

_The boy shudders when he realizes that the man is right. He would never be able to get rid of it._

_“Do you want to know how you want me to leave?” The man suddenly asks and the boy whips his head to face him._

_His eyes widen at the mere thought of it. “Tell me, tell me now.”_

_His smile grows even larger._

_“_ Kill her. _”_

* * *

Seirin lost Inter-High by none other than _he_. Kuroko doesn’t even want to say his name without having another one of his attacks.

When Kagami came back from the game and refused to see him, he knew immediately that they had been kicked out of the match. It was too soon. Seirin had practiced so much yet it couldn’t go that far.

When Kuroko asked what happened, Kagami refused to talk to him. It wasn’t until later when he found out from one of the basketball players why Kagami didn’t want to say anything.  
It was all for him.

Kagami didn’t want to remind Kuroko of _him_. He knew that Kuroko would react horribly to it. Kagami could have taken those days of grief telling him about the match, what had happened and how it turned out that way. He could have vented his feelings of sorrow for losing the game, _he could have cried in front of him from the pain,_ but instead, he had decided to keep it all to himself, because of him.

He decides to go home first. Seirin has moved on from Inter-High and are now getting ready for the Winter Cup. Kagami and his basketball players have begun practice once more.

Kagami tilts his head when Kuroko tells him he is going home. “You’re not going to wait for me this time?” He asks.

Kuroko shakes his head. “No. There is something I have to do. I will see you at home, Kagami-kun.” Kagami looks at him funnily but then shrugs and ruffles his hair. He leans in to the touch.

“Ok, then. I see you in a few hours.” And both part ways.

Kuroko runs home, not wanting to waste any time. He wants to thank Kagami for all he has done. He wants to show his gratitude and absolute honor that he had the chance of meeting someone like him.

He wants to show him that he has gotten better, though it is a complete lie.

When Kagami returns home, exhausted and tired from practice but still determined to make food for both Kuroko and him, he is surprised to smell food in his flat. He opens the door and the stench hits his nose stronger.

His eyes widen at the mess in the kitchen and can distinctly detect burning smoke. He runs towards it, afraid that something might have caught on fire, but is shocked to find Kuroko standing in the middle of it, equally surprised to see him.

“Kagami-kun? You were already home?” Kuroko asks and Kagami just nods, still taken aback.

“Practice ended a bit early. What happened here?” Kagami questions and Kuroko lowers his head. Kagami takes a look around the kitchen to see the damage and stops when he sees the dining table, full of food.

“Kuroko, did you make dinner?” Kagami inquires as he sees a bowl of boiled eggs.

Kuroko, with his head still lowered, nods. “I am sorry for the mess. I had no idea it would be this hard to make food. You always did it so easily that I believed it would be the same for me.”

Kagami takes a second to process Kuroko’s words and when it does, he can’t help but laugh. He starts ruffling Kuroko’s hair affectionately and is immensely pleased when he sees that Kuroko’s ears are red.

“Did you do all of this for me?” Kagami asks and Kuroko doesn’t respond. Kagami feels his embarrassment and smiles even bigger. They move to the table and Kagami shouts out a whole-hearted, “Thank you for the meal!”, and digs in.

Kuroko anxiously awaits for Kagami’s remarks and can’t even touch his chopsticks.

Then, “Kuroko, I didn’t know you could cook so well!” Kagami shouts in glee as he begins to stuff his cheeks with the various appetizers Kuroko has made. There is something unbelievably happy rising in Kuroko, something he hasn’t felt in a long, long time, and he whispers his own “Thank you for the meal” before taking an egg roll himself. Kagami had taken several in his mouth already. He wants to know how it takes.

When he puts it in his mouth, it puckers up immediately and he takes various lengths to swallow it without choking. He then realizes with horror that he had maybe put too much salt on it. He the realizes Kagami eating the whole dinner and his eyes widen significantly.

“Kagami-kun, don’t eat the food!” Kuroko yells and Kagami suddenly stops.

“What?” His words are barely comprehensible with the food in his mouth.”

“Please spit the food out, Kagami-kun. I have made a mistake and put too much salt. I am so sorry you had to eat it.” Kuroko pleads as he walks over to him with an empty plate. He pushes it to Kagami so that he can spit it out, but before he can process it, Kagami has already swallowed.

“Kagami-kun!” Kuroko exclaims in dismay. “Why did you swallow? It must have been too salty!”

“Kuroko, it’s fine.” Kagami reassures but guilt doesn’t fade.

“You lied to me when you said the food was good. It was not.”

“Kuroko, you know I would never lie to you.” Kagami says seriously and Kuroko is captivated by the intense look. He really does look like he would never lie to him. “I said the food was good because the food was good. So what if it were a little bit salty? For a first try, it was delicious.” Kagami consoles and Kuroko gets a bit more hope.

“Really?”

Kagami nods with a soft smile on his face. “Really. But hey, if you’re worried, maybe I can teach you more about cooking.”

Kuroko lowers his head and for what seemed to be longest time, he smiled.

“Thank you.”

* * *

_Such a sweet, sweet moment. I could just replay the scene over and over again._

What do you want?  
_Hm? Who said I wanted anything?_

You always want something.

_True, I always do. What do you think I want this time?_

I am not playing your game. I am happy. Go away.

_Really? You’re happy? Are you sure?_

I am. Leave me alone. I don’t need you anymore.

_I doubt it. You’ll never get rid of me, you know? No matter how much you try, I’ll always be here, telling you facts about reality. Just how someday, he’ll leave you, too. Just like last time. The only difference is that it’ll hurt ten times, even a hundred times more._

I already told you, Kagami-kun would never do that. He even ate my food because he knew I spent so much time on it. He knows a lot of things about it and he is always helping me. He won’t leave. He won’t.

_Oh, but he will. Because that’s what always happens to you, doesn’t it? You get left behind, forgotten._

He will never do that. Leave my head. You are not wanted here anymore. I am happy. I am not depressed anymore.

_Really? Do you really believe that? Shall we test it then?_

What do you mean? What are you saying?

_Let’s test if you’ve really gotten over it. If you pass, I’ll leave, never bother you again. If you don’t, well, you know the deal. Ready?_

Wait, what are you doing? What are you going to do?

_First up, we have the pretty boy, Kise Ryouta. Such a cheerful boy, always smiling and bubbly, trying to make everyone get along. It didn’t work, though. He ended up just like everyone else._

No, you can’t do this.

_Next up, the bookworm, Midorima Shintarou. I remember when him and you would always meet up in the library, recommending each other books and reviewing them with such vigor._

Stop it.

_Next line is the giant baby, Murasakibara Atsushi. You guys got along everywhere, didn’t you? Especially when you got him treats and he trusted you enough to give you some of his snacks. I wonder if he would do that even now, when he and the others all left you._

Please, stop. I don’t need this. Please.

_And look what we have here! The emperor, Akashi Seijuuro. He’s the one who found your ability, wasn’t he? He was the one who gave you the chance of being with everyone._

_No, wait. That wasn’t him. That was -_

* * *

“Kuroko, shh.

It’s ok, it’s ok.

Take deep breaths, in and out.

Shh, it’s ok.

Don’t cry, you’ll be alright.”

* * *

 

_Aomine Daiki._

* * *

 

“Kuroko!” Kagami shouts as he enters the house. Kuroko looks up from his book and see Kagami’s radiating smile. 

He tilts his head. “Kagami-kun? Did something happen?”

Kagami can’t stop grinning from ear to ear. “We won!” He finally explodes and before they know, Kuroko has stood up to run to him for a job well done. Kagami hugs Kuroko and swings him around, still unable to control his happiness.

They’re like this for a while before Kagami finally calms down and puts Kuroko back on the ground. He has to grab onto something to balance himself.

“Come on, we’re all celebrating. You’re coming with me.” Kagami says as he takes Kuroko’s jacket and throws it to him.

“Me?” Kuroko asks with wide eyes and Kagami nods.

“Yeah, come on.”

“But I am not even in the team. I shouldn’t be imposing.” Kuroko tries to avoid but Kagami already has him by the neck.

“But be so anti-social. Besides, the team won’t care. They’ll be more than happy to include you!”

Kuroko is still hesitant. “Are you sure?”

“Hell yeah, I am! Come on, let’s go before coach has my head!” And Kagami drags Kuroko to the restaurant where they meet the rest of Seirin’s team.

Kagami introduces Kuroko as his best friend, which produces a warm feeling in his gut, and the whole team greets him whole-heartedly. Soon enough, the whole place is in celebration as Seirin has completely dominated it with its immense glee.

For about an hour or so, the team is partying, dancing and singing, and others in the restaurant even join them. Kagami pushes Kuroko to join them and they invite him with open arms. He can’t refuse and soon enough, they are all becoming one. Kuroko already feels at home.

He feels wanted again.

When they finally settle down and actually begin to eat some food, everyone’s attention is on none other than Kuroko. He shrinks at the sudden attention.

“So, you’re the famous Kuroko-kun Kagami-kun is always talking about?” The only female in the group, the coach, asks. Kuroko tilts his head.

“You know me?”

“Please, Kagami is always talking about how great of a person you are. It was getting annoying.” The captain, a glasses wearing student, says while rolling his eyes.

“Kagami-kun?” Kuroko asks and Kagami rubs the back of his neck.

“I may or may not have talked about you to the team.”

“He told us how you made him dinner once because you knew he was still down about losing the Inter-High. It was so sweet of you.” The coach recalls.

“Soon enough, this Bakagami is just spitting out all kinds of praises about you. ‘Oh, Kuroko does this for me’ and ‘Kuroko does that’. I hit him every time.” The captain grumbles and everyone laughs as Kagami turns red.

“I do not say that!” Kagami vehemently protests but everyone says differently. 

“Don’t even lie, Kagami!”

“You’re always talking about him!”

“We were wondering when you were going to introduce us to him!”

“He really does seem as great as you say!”

Kuroko listens to the team tease Kagami and he can’t help but cry a little bit. Kagami was kind enough to talk about him with his team members. He was kind enough to remember that he was still in existence.

He couldn’t be happier.

* * *

_“You’re losing it. I can see.” The Black Goat notes with his eyes glaring downwards. The boy just keeps shivering._

_“Shut up. Leave me alone.” He says in a muffled voice. He won’t lift his head up._

_“Look at you, you’re becoming your mother now.” The man says in disgust and kicks him. The boy coughs in pain but doesn’t change his position._

_“Exactly like your mother. What happened? I thought you didn’t want to be like her. What changed?”_

_“Nothing changed. Leave me alone. I just like this position, that’s all. The floor’s comfy and I’m cold. That’s all.”_

_“Such stupid excuses.” The Black Goat tsks before kicking him once more. The boy cries out in pain but finds that he can’t stop shivering._

_“Are you feeling deprived? Stripped? Unhuman?” The man asks. The boy doesn’t answer._

_“Do you feel as if you can’t do anything in this world? Do you feel as though if you do something, it’ll just kill you in the end?”_

_No answer._

_“Well, it’s true.” The man whispers as he crouches down to him. “Everything you do will lead to your demise. Be in that position forever, just like what your mother is doing. Now that I think about it, she’s almost dead, isn’t she?”_

_That gets the boy’s attention and finally, he lifts his head up._

_“What?”_

_The man gets closer. “She’s dying. She’s not eating, moving, barely breathing as it is. Aren’t you happy?” He asks and loves the expression the boy has._

_“She can’t be dying.” The boy says in dismay and slowly stands up from his egg position. The Black Goat merely watches him._

_“She can’t be dying.” He repeats once more and his fists clench. “She can’t be dying because I’m the one who wants her dead.”_

_The man smiles. “What do you want to do now?”_

_The boy is frozen for a moment before turning to the Black Goat slowly. When they are face to face, the man is more than satisfied with the expression in the boy’s eyes._

_“I want you to kill her.” He orders in a low voice and the man’s smile reaches to his ears. The slits are even more prominent in the night time._

_“Guide the way.”_

* * *

Kuroko is more than ready to go to the stadium to cheer Kagami on. He doesn’t even care for the fact that Kagami is up against _him_ , he just wants to support Kagami any way he can.

He remembers when he made this decision. It was just after Kuroko finished dinner on his own. Kagami had gone to the States a few weeks back to train even more extensively with his old basketball teacher but he didn’t mind as much because they Skyped each other every night.

They were talking this time as well when Kagami began the topic. “So, the Winter Cup starts in a few days.”

He nodded. “So it has.”

“Our first opponent is Touou.” Kagami said solemnly and Kuroko’s eyes widened. He hated hearing that school name.

“I believed you could not have a match with schools from the same Tokyo block.” Kuroko reasoned but Kagami’s face turned sour.

“It normally isn’t, but they made exceptions this time.”

“What will you do?” Kuroko hesitantly asked and Kagami just smiled.

“I’ll do what I’ll always do. I’ll play my best.” And after a moment’s silence, Kagami added, “Will you cheer me on?”

Kuroko lowered his eyes from the screen and pondered about it greatly. Would it be worth going if he had the risk of meeting _them_? Would it really worth it to cheer Kagami on when he was still on the brink of the cliff?

Then he remembered the restaurant with the other Seirin members, when he felt most at home with, and he realized his answer was simple.

He turned his attention back to Kagami, who was staring at him intently, and before he knew it, he said yes.

Now, here he is, waiting outside the stadium for Kagami to come. He already met the rest of Seirin, who seemed to also be waiting for Kagami to show up. The coach, Aida Riko as she introduced herself last time, ranted about how much of a Bakagami he was before saying goodbye to Kuroko to go to the lockers and get ready first.

He looks at his cellphone and sees that Kagami is about 20 minutes late. He sighs as he predicts that it is because Kagami forgot about the time difference between Japan and the States. He decides to walk around and view the scenery while waiting for him.

It’s been a long time since he’s been in a place like this. The last time he had been in a stadium was in middle school, when everything went wrong.

He doesn’t want to think about it now. He doesn’t want to get depressed now out of all times. He has to cheer for Kagami, he has to cheer for Seirin.

He takes a look around the place and sees that a lot of people are gathering. The Winter Cup has become incredibly popular and Kuroko is amazed by how much it has grown. He has been away from basketball too long. He barely knows anything anymore.

“Kurokocchi?”

He stops short as he hears that familiar nickname. He’s frozen.

“Is that you?” The same voice asks but he still doesn’t move.

“Kuro-chin?” A lower-pitched voice and somewhat of a more drowsy tone asks and he starts shivering subtly. He tries to control himself but he finds extremely difficult to do so.

“Kuroko? Kuroko Tetsuya?” A deep voice, one many girls would have found extremely attractive, says next. No, he can’t. Not now, out of all places. The voice is talking to him again. Make it stop, make it stop, make it stop.

“Tetsuya, turn around.” It’s the tone of an emperor, a tyrant leader. He’s asking him to turn around but his feet are rooted to the ground. Make the voice stop talking. He’s breaking again.

“Tetsu.”

A sob rises but he clamps it down. Make it stop, please make it stop.

Before he knows it, a hand grabs his shoulder and forces him to turn around. He then is frozen stiff when he sees five familiar faces all looking at him, either in shock or curiosity. He still can’t say anything.

“Where the hell were you in middle school?” Aomine Daiki, ace prodigy and once best friend of Kuroko Tetsuya, explodes. “Suddenly skipping class, not even bothering to come to graduation. Do you even play basketball anymore?” His tone is accusing, as if it was his fault that they all became like this, jaded and alone.

His shivering doesn’t stop, only increases, and this time, it is visible enough for people to see it. Kise is the first one to notice.

“Kurokocchi, are you ok?” He asks worriedly and Aomine flips him off.

“Fuck off, Kise. I’m trying to talk to him here.”

Kise’s eye twitches. “Aominecchi, there’s something wrong with him.” He says but Aomine isn’t listening. Midorima and even Murasakibara see it, however, and they start to move forward to him. He doesn’t want them to. Akashi is silent.

“What school are you even at? Is it that no-name school? What’s it called, Sierin? Seron?”

Midorima grabs Aomine’s shoulder. “Oi, Aomine, lay off him for a second. There’s something wrong with him.”

“And I’m telling you to fuck off, Midorima. I’m trying to get answers as to why he fucking disappeared without telling any of us!”

He doesn’t want to hear it. He doesn’t want to stay here. He wants to leave. He wants to never see them again.

_I told you you would break. I told you you wouldn’t be able to handle them if you ever saw them again. Do you still think you’re cured?_

To everyone’s surprise, Kuroko starts crying.

“Stop, I don’t want this anymore. I can’t take it anymore.” He sobs as he covers his face and crouches down, curling his back as if to protect himself.

He just wants the voice to be gone.

“O-oi, Tetsu?” Aomine has figured out too late that there is definitely something wrong with him. Before anyone can take a step closer to the smaller boy, the view is suddenly blocked by a furious red-head.

“Get the hell away from him!” Kagami yells as he covers Kuroko’s body with his own. The five, shocked at the sudden appearance of Kagami Taiga, don’t move.

Kagami immediately reverts his attention back to Kuroko, who is completely breaking down. He knew he shouldn’t have asked him to cheer for him. He was a complete idiot for even suggesting it. This would have never happened if he didn’t ask him. It was his fault.

“Kuroko, it’s ok, it’s ok. I’m here for you, I’m here. Shh, calm down, calm down. Take deep breaths, deep breaths. Kuroko, it’s ok, it’s going to be ok.” He keeps trying to soothe but this time, it isn’t working. Nothing is working.

“Fuck, Kuroko, I’m carrying you, ok?” Kagami chooses to take him to the locker room where they won’t be able to see the five.

“Hey, where do you think you’re taking him?” Aomine calls out but Kagami doesn’t answer him back. Aomine, not taking that as an answer, runs after him and catches him by the shoulder.

“Don’t fucking ignore me, bastard.” Aomine growls but Kagami shrugs him off.

“I’m taking him to Seirin’s locker room. If you want an explanation, I’ll give it to you after I take him there. The team will be able to calm him down, I hope.” Kagami says, mostly to himself, and runs as fast as he can, whispering soothing words to Kuroko along the way.

The five watch the figure slowly dissipate and they decide to takes Kagami’s word for it and wait until the red-head comes back. Even the emperor himself is confused.

* * *

_“You killed her with your own hands, you know?” The man smiles. The boy starts to shake terribly._

_“What’re you saying? I didn’t kill her, you did. I didn’t kill my mother.” The boy tries to makes sense but the man is relentless._

_“But I’m not the one with blood on my hands.” The boy slowly looks at his hands and the man’s at the same time. To his horror, only his hands are stained._

_He starts shaking his head vigorously. “No, I didn’t do it. I’m not the one who killed her. I just ordered you to do it for me. It wasn’t me who did it, it was you.”_

_“You don’t get it, do you?” The Black Goat says as he grabs the boy’s head and starts squeezing it. The boy starts screaming in pain._

_“I’m not the one who killed her. It was all you. Can’t you see I was made from your depravity? I’m just a figment of your imagination, made from the need for you to stay sane.”_

_The boy just keeps screaming._

_“Didn’t work now, did it? Now what are you going to do? You’re a killer, but instead of becoming your own person, you’ve just become your mother. You’ve become nothing.”_

_“Stop it, stop it, stop it! It hurts! It hurts!”_

_“Absolutely nothing. Deprived of everything you are. You’re not even human anymore. The only person who remotely cared for you, you killed it. You don’t deserve anything else in this world. It’s all against you. You’ve been abandoned, can’t you see? No one wants you, no one cares for you, no one even knows you_ exist _.”_

_“Stop, please.” The boy starts crying with tears running down his cheeks. He can’t take it anymore. The Black Goat still squeezes._

_“What else can you have? You’re got nothing. No family, no friendship, no love. Best thing to do now is just die. Not a bad idea, right? I’ll even do it for you.”_

_The boy can’t say anything as the Black Goat takes his other hand and wraps it around his neck._

_He breaks._

* * *

“He’s been going through depression, are you happy now?” Kagami spits out angrily. He came back from the locker room and was currently telling the five prodigies about what happened. Everything from when they first met to now.

No one seems happy. They are all just horrified at the news.

“Because of us?” Kise whispers as he covers his face in dread. The others don’t look well either, especially Aomine. Kagami hates him the most out of all of them. He was the first to leave Kuroko and everything else behind. He was the one who hurt him the most.

“If you have any remorse and sympathy for him, you’ll stay away.” Kagami warns but everyone except Akashi vehemently protests.

“You can’t possibly expect us to stay away after hearing something like that!” Midorima bursts, completely unlike him.

“Why do you think he was like that in the first place?” Kagami snaps. “Can’t you see you guys are the reason he’s like this? He’s still not over it, he may never be. Do you honestly think you guys will be of much help when you were beginning of everything he’s been through?”

Kagami runs his hand through his hair in distress. “Just stop. Don’t make it worse for him, got it? He needs more time, and you guys are just going to take it away from him.”

“But we want to help!” Kise cries out and Kagami sighs.

“Then let him decide. Let him choose when he wants to see you again. But trust me when I say this: he doesn’t need you. Not yet, at least. The trauma you guys have given him is unbelievable, ok?”

Kagami checks the time and sees that it’s almost time for them to leave. He starts walking away. “Don’t make it worse for him, not when he’s just started to open up again. He really doesn’t need you at the moment, not when you guys are still the trigger to his depression.”

Kagami leaves the five to themselves and Aomine punches the nearest advertisement board.  
“Why the fuck would Tetsu try to kill himself because of us? Because of me? Fuck! “He screams and no one can do anything to appease him.

* * *

Kuroko wakes up in the locker room and sees that no one is inside. He looks at the time and realizes that the match has already begun between Kagami and… _him_.

He suddenly remembers everything: his unexpected meeting with _them_ , his complete breakdown, and Kagami’s rescue. The recollection is vague but he distinctly remembers Kagami soothing him till the end. He can also remember the rest of Seirin making him feel like home.

He takes deep breaths as he calms down his heart.

He knew the voice was telling the truth. He really wasn’t over it. But at the moment, he doesn’t want to think about it now. He has to cheer for the one person who cared for him when no one else did. He needs to cheer for Kagami.

He moves out from the locker room and walks inside a big hallway. As he gets closer to the shining light, he can hear shouts and cheers from the audience. His eyes widen when he sees blue lightning flash by.

So he had opened the door to the Zone. It was obvious he would.

He walks over to the benches where Seirin is at and though they run over to him to see if he’s ok, they can’t focus properly because the match has suddenly become too one-sided. He sees Kagami’s desperate eyes and he realizes that he never wants to see that kind of face on him.

Before anyone knows it, he starts screaming Kagami’s name.

Kagami must’ve heard because something sparks in him and in mere seconds, the court is filled with red and blue lightning clashing against each other. No one has time to breath until the very end of the match and just before the final buzzer rings, Kagami takes the final shot, making Seirin the winner

The team all run towards Kagami, the main protagonist, and Kuroko joins in on them. Kagami is crying tears of joy as he takes Kuroko by the arms and lifts him up to shoulders. Kuroko cries as well because he is happy to see Kagami like this. He is happy to see that his best friend has been able to beat an impossible opponent.

“Tetsu.” Kagami and Kuroko both hear and they direct their attention to Aomine Daiki. Kagami slowly puts Kuroko on the ground and puts a firm hand on his shoulder, telling Kuroko that he will be ok.

“I’m sorry. About everything.” Aomine whispers and eventually, tears start running down his face. Kuroko can’t bear to see the sight of it.

“Aomine-kun.” He never thought he would say that name again. Aomine looks up, still crying, and he finds himself looking at a small extended fist.

“I still have not gotten my fist bump back from middle school. I am sorry but I will not be able to see any of you until I know I have overcome my own depression. Please understand.” Kuroko says but Aomine gives him a small smile.

“But it does mean we have a second chance, doesn’t it?

Kuroko can only nod. Aomine takes it and returns the fist bump. When the stadium empties out and Kagami and Kuroko have gone home, Aomine gathers up the rest of the five and tells them that maybe it would be better for them to wait until Kuroko was ready.

They all agree and they selfishly (guiltily) wish for that day to come as quickly as possible.

* * *

A little over a year after the Winter Cup, when Seirin has beaten Rakuzan and Akashi Seijuuro, the five Generation of Miracles get a text message from an unknown sender.

But they all know who it is. They can’t help but smile while crying tears of joy. The day as finally arrived.

* * *

_Would you like to play basketball with me?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all liked it :)  
> I apologize if you thought the ending was a bit too rushed but at the time, I was so tired from all the writing and editing, as well as school and homework, so I really just wanted to get this story done.   
> Also, the parts of the book is all my work! Hope you liked the whole changing perspective thing as well :) 
> 
> Peace,  
> FlyAndDontLookBack


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